A very astute blogger described pretty accurately what it is like dating a geek/nerd in The Nerd Handbook. It’s a pretty good read. I recommend it.
Let’s discuss how it applies to me, and I do welcome feedback should anyone actually read this. Although really anyone that can comment on it from an experienced perspective is highly unlikely to read it.
Part I: The nerd is defined by their computer.
In a literal sense I don’t think that is me, sure I know computers fairly well, I should it has been nearly my entire life. But my computer does not define me. It’s the latter part of this paragraph that I relate to. I look at the world from a view of everything (except people) can be understood given enough time and effort. I also realize that sometimes it is not worth the effort to figure them out.
Part II: The nerd has control issues.
This is only somewhat true about me, believe it or not I do like change, but I need forms of constant to go along with those changes. If I don’t have that constant, I am very resistant to change. That makes the advice he gives later in the article very worthwhile. But I do like change, I like excitement, and frankly I need some excitement right now.
Part III: Your nerd has built himself a cave.
This is completely true about me, but not in quite the physical surrounding that he has set up. My cave has been built into me. I shut the world out, even when I’m really screaming to be heard inside. It’s a protection mechanism (albeit it a poor one), I’ve been hurt, and I try to pretend to be strong, but it’s no secret the people that know me can tell. They leave me alone because they know eventually I will burst and come to them to talk. Sometimes I just wish they would beat it out of me to get it over with, although I have found that doesn’t usually work, I usually still have to work it out myself.
Part IV: Puzzles & Projects
I love puzzles, I love projects, even if I get frustrated with both. When I’m dating someone they are certainly my project, I’m trying to prove myself worth of their attention. I like to think even once I have gained their affection sufficiently I still pay good attention, but I’m sure it does weaken whilst I work on another (non-relationship. I would never cheat, ever.) project.
Part V: Amazing Appetite for information
I am very much like this, so rarely do I watch TV exclusively one show at a time, I am usually watching while browsing the web, or programming. It is what I do, I don’t watch three shows at once, I watch one while I do something I hope is productive. The biggest thing is once I see something interesting, I have to go explore it, it will nag at me until I read it. This is why while I’m at work I have a different homepage set up, one that doesn’t have any news feeds. I just can’t stop myself from reading the latest tech news when I see a headline that is interesting.
Part VI: Efficiency engine
This is ABSOLUTELY true. It was always my biggest problem in school from late elementary school through college. If I cannot see an application to what I am being told, I really just don’t care to remember it. Even if I find it interesting, I will learn, be intrigued, and promptly forget it. I’m not being rude, I am genuinely interested, but if there is no value in me retaining it, it is likely to be forgotten. That is how I can listen to someone intently, give advice, and a week from now forget we ever had the conversation.
So that’s how I relate to the nerd handbook, the later part are some tips, some of them might work for me, some of that might be completely unnecessary.